Looking back at the past year of being a new mom, I have come to realize that there will always be something to experience for the first time as a parent. And with that comes questions. Lots of questions.
I took the opportunity to think back to all of the questions I had as a new mom and what advice I would give to other first time moms. Read on for the top 6 questions I had as a new mom and what I have learned from them.
1. Should breastfeeding be this stressful?
I knew as soon as I was pregnant that I wanted to breastfeed my daughter. I was able to do so for 6 months, which wasn’t as long as I had hoped for and not as easy as I thought it would be.
I was really struggling in the beginning to even get Rylee to latch without tremendous pain and I could tell my production was already low. And then going back to work and trying to pump in between meetings made it worse. It was a lot to handle for the first time. You can read more about my struggles with breastfeeding in my Postpartum Rant post I wrote shortly after hearing I was diagnosed with Mastitis.
What I Learned:
Throughout my time breastfeeding, and especially when I wasn’t producing as much as I knew Rylee needed, I just kept telling myself that a little bit of breastmilk is still better than nothing. We started mixing what little I could pump in with formula for her so that she could get all the food that she needed. My biggest piece of advice for those who choose to breastfeed their babies, is to do as much as you can and don’t stress over it or compare yourself to other moms if it’s not going as well as you had hoped for. Everyone is different. You should be proud of yourself no matter what. You’re a momma and you brought a beautiful life into this world!
2. Should I feel guilty about feeding my baby formula?
At my daughter’s first ever check-up, we found out that she was not getting the nutrition she needed from breastfeeding alone and she was losing too much weight. This was heartbreaking for me to hear as a mother.
Well, at that very appointment, my doctor pulled out one of those “dreaded” bottles of formula and fed it to her right there. She slugged that bottle down in an instant, and that is when I realized that her getting the nutrition and nourishment that she needed to grow was more important than how she was getting it.
This is definitely not an unpopular question to have as a new mom. Actually, a nationwide survey of pediatricians, the “Pulse of Pediatricians”, looked at the most common questions new moms will ask and found that feeding questions were the number one topic moms asked about. Other than poop and sleep questions, of course.
What I Learned:
Many people have opinions about formula vs. breast milk and they are not afraid to vocalize them. My advice is to ignore what others think and do what is best for your baby.
Feeding my baby formula to help supplement breastfeeding was one of the best decisions we made. It gave me a break when I needed it most and gave Brett the opportunity to bond with Rylee.
And you don’t have to feel afraid about the quality of baby formula out there. The American Academy of Pediatrics and other experts agree on the benefits of breastfeeding, but these experts also agree that infant formula is a safe and nutritious means to nourish babies.
And what most moms don’t know is that the FDA strictly regulates formula to keep little ones safe. Even store brand formulas, like Wal-Mart’s Parent’s Choice and Target’s up&up, are nutritionally comparable to national brands like Enfamil® and Similac® and meet FDA standards.
I wrote an entire post about using these store brand formula products and the money we saved as a family in my post, How to Effortlessly Save Money as a Busy Mom.
3. How early can we start tummy time?
I didn’t know how important it was for Rylee to have regular tummy time and to start early. Especially with doctors telling you now days to lay your baby on their backs while sleeping and the fact that swings and bouncers keep babies on their backs—they need it in order to prevent “flat heads.” We actually found out we weren’t giving Rylee enough tummy time at around 4-5 months and the doctor told us her head was a little flat! He was concerned, but we didn’t know that she could have been doing more tummy time when she was that little! We had to massage her head to try and round it out in order to avoid her wearing a helmet.
What I Learned:
Babies might seem so fragile when they are that little and you want to make sure that they are always comfortable. But you would be surprised at what they can do! My advice is to start out as early as possible with tummy time. Lay your little one on the mat and test out their strength. Just make sure that you are nearby to supervise your precious little one.
4. Should I feel guilty about wanting to get away or do something for myself after becoming a new mom?
After I had Rylee I could not wait to be the best mom that I could be to her when we got her home. I thought that 6 weeks off for maternity leave was not long at all, so I would have to spend as much time with her as possible. And good moms don’t “want to get away” from their babies, do they? It wasn’t until Brett told me that it’s OK to go out and continue to do the things I love. Just because I have a baby now doesn’t mean that I can’t, and I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to either.
My Advice:
I was so thankful that Brett made this clear for me. And after experiencing how great it felt to get out and have some alone time, I realized how important this was in order for me to be the best mom I could be. Taking the time to enjoy the things I love doing made me happy. And a happy mom is a good mom. It also really helped me to appreciate Brett as a partner in this whole parenting thing, too.
5. With all these baby products out there, what do I really need?
There is so much stuff out there for babies now, it makes it hard to know what the essentials are. Rylee has so many toys, and it’s funny to think that she would rather play with the pots and pans than the awesome drum set kit she got for her birthday.
My Advice:
Every baby is different. And you’ll have to learn for yourself what works best for your little one. But as a starting point, I do have a list of some of my favorite baby items that made Rylee (and myself) happy throughout her first 6 months. Check out this post, 5 Baby Things That I Could Not Live Without, to read more.
6. How do I decide on the best place for my baby now that I am going back to work?
This one can definitely be a challenge for any new parent going back to work. There are many options to choose from — a daycare, a nanny or family willing to babysit. In our case, daycare was the best option and we could not be happier with our decision.
My Advice:
If you are looking for a daycare to bring your little one when you are getting ready to go back to work, here are some of my tips for finding the perfect one:
- Start your search as early as possible. We started late and all of the ones we thought we wanted were booked solid. Day cares book up fast and if you want a space at your daycare of choice, hold a spot asap so you are prepared to go back to work when the time comes.
- Choose a daycare close to home. I originally thought that I wanted Rylee’s daycare to be closer to my work so that I could visit her and breastfeed her (typical new momma thinking). I was so happy with our choice to stay closer to home because I wasn’t solely responsible for drop off/pick up and Brett could help. She also didn’t have to endure a 20-30 minute ride in rush hour AND I could make it to the gym after work on select nights without having to get her first.
- Find one with a great camera system. There are a lot of things I like about our school, but one of my favorites is the camera system they have set up so that I can watch her at work. I really feel like I know what she is up to during the day and don’t feel like I am missing out on too much while I am working.
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my post! I hope you were able to find some good advice to take a long with you!
